the water is pulling me near
by markedandtied
Summary: Hook/Ariel. Her lips moved almost indiscernibly, and he thought he could read his name on the tip of them. But he would never know, just like everything else about her.
1. Chapter 1

She slowly stretches out a hand, fingers meeting the cool metal of his hooked hand. Her fingers tremble slightly, always so cautious around him; he's more volatile than she ever realized, though strangely gentle with her - even when she can see the storm raging beneath his gaze. He can't feel her touch, but he quickly withdraws his hand when he sees her arm outstretched. Ariel snatches her hand back hastily, cheeks flushing and she wrings them together in her lap looking down. Cautiously, after a second passes, she peers at him with a questioning look in her eyes. They ask him 'how?' or perhaps 'why?' - Killian isn't sure which exactly. All he understands is her curiosity; she's always curious about him, yet never able to ask. He could pretend that he doesn't understand, ignore her inquiry entirely. It's a topic he never speaks of to his crew and his crew knows never to ask; they have all heard or seen the story, but it is an unspoken subject aboard his ship. Something inside Killian longs to tell her, to speak of the day very long ago, when he lost both his hand and the woman he loved. There's something comforting to him in the idea that she'll never be able to repeat this to anyone; it makes vulnerability a safe option for once in his life, when the sea had hardened him over time.

Killian shifts from his stance at the deck, turning from the water back to the deck and casting his gaze out over the masts and sails. Finally, he looks back to her - so like a child, yet something so mature in the way she looks at him: really seeing him. Not the man his crew sees, but who he really is. She's always cautious but knows when to push boundaries. She dares to do things his crew wouldn't with him, yet she's hardly known him a fortnight since he found her stranded on that rocky beach.

"It happened a long time ago, in a duel... of sorts." There was a hard, bitter edge to his voice as he spoke of Rumpelstiltskin. Hardly a duel at all: a coward even until the end. Although Killian had claimed some small victory in tricking him out of that magic bean, it wouldn't bring back Mila. He would be glad to part with his hand forever if it meant her return. Killian had resigned himself to the hook he now wore; it reminded him of the revenge he sought and would one day achieve. It was a scar of his past and it was a lesson that Killian had learned from. He hadn't allowed himself to be bested again. "I lost it to a man by the name of Rumpelstiltskin," Killian continued, lifting the hook and eyeing it contemplatively before he glanced back at Ariel again. She watched him with rapt attention, eyebrows raised in a gesture for him to continue. There was no judgment and, curiously, no pity either; he had expected it. Just understanding: something else Killian hadn't known for quite a long time. "He believed I had stolen his wife and he wanted revenge. He killed her, to make me suffer, and then he took my hand."

Ariel nodded, but felt another question that couldn't be asked bubbling at her lips. She parted them out of habit, but of course no sound came out. With frustration, she pursed them, huffing in exasperation.

"And you want to know if I did, don't you?" Killian questioned as he watched her, so adept at sensing what it is she meant to say. "Did I steal his wife? I suppose... that's one way of describing it." There was no arrogance in Killian's voice. It was the truth. He had spirited her away, but Milah had longed for the adventures he told of the sea and of the foreign lands he'd seen. She had a spirit in her that Killian was drawn to and he'd unhesitatingly allowed her to set sail with him. He hadn't given a second thought to her husband, even after he came to grovel for his wife's return. Killian was quite capable of being selfish, and he knew it.

It didn't hurt as badly to talk about Milah now and to speak of her to Ariel. If he was talking to his first mate or his crew, Killian knew he would feel differently: he would feel _obligated_ to act differently. He wasn't sure what it was about Ariel that affected him; maybe it was the fact that she couldn't speak. Her voice enchanted him when he first heard her sing, carrying through the wind over the sea. He'd only caught a glimpse in the moonlight: that vivid red hair, that shimmering white skin, before she'd disappeared into the ocean depths again, just a flash of scales in the black waves. She was just as radiant now, bathed in the moonlight on the deck of his ship, but that enthralling voice of hers was lost. That only inspired Killian to want to know her all the more - because he _couldn't_. He enjoyed the mystery of her.

His crew had been equally fascinated with her and the prospect of a woman on board. Killian had felt instinctively protective, ordering his crew not to dare touch her and knowing they wouldn't risk disobeying his commands. He was still as ruthless a pirate as ever, doing what it took to ensure the survival and welfare of himself and his crew. They murdered and they stole, and Ariel was well aware of it. Yet she still seemed curious about him, wanted to know him, asking him questions that Killian hadn't heard uttered in a long time - like the tale behind the colorful moniker he'd adopted.

They fell into silence, which wasn't so unusual for their exchanges. If not silence, it was Killian's voice, filling the void for the both of them. Ariel would gesture to a question, which Killian would expertly guess or interpret. He would try to answer her, only to find more spilling from her, each requiring a more lengthy answer than the one before. Suddenly he was recounting tales of his past adventures to a captive audience again, but also tales of his past rarely spoken of: mentions of childhood, of family, of life before being a pirate - things he didn't think he'd ever mentioned to anyone, even Milah. It was the childlike insatiability and curiosity of hers that prompted him to keep speaking, but the depth of her understanding is what allowed Killian to give in again and again to recounting his stories when she would ask him each night. They often found each other on the deck, when the crew was all down below fast asleep. He thought it was because she liked the moon, or perhaps the sea at night, and that's why he found her here. Killian had never been able to ask - though he much wanted to. He'd often wanted to return the favor, to learn everything it is she had to tell him, but he would never be able to.

Killian let his gaze slowly rake over her, and she appeared entirely oblivious. For now, he had satisfied her curiosity. She stood gazing out at the black ocean depths, waves breaking in the distance and crashing against the hull of the ship. As a rough one broke against the ship, she stretched out her arm, fingertips catching the ocean spray. He couldn't be certain, but Killian thought she often seemed inconsolable in longing for the sea.

"Do you miss it?" he found himself asking. Only a moment later did he realize that she couldn't answer and it was foolish for him to ask. No matter how hard he tried, it was difficult for him to get used to the fact that she couldn't speak to him.

Surprise flickered over her features, because Killian rarely ever addressed her with questions. The last notable experience she could remember was the day he'd found her, demanding to know what happened as she helplessly tried to convey to him that she couldn't speak. She nodded her head slowly, feeling, as he had, comfortable with being vulnerable. The crew was fascinating to her yet often frightening - but never Killian.

She wished she knew how to tell him. Ariel nodded at the ocean before them, then lifted a hand to gently place it over her heart. "_My family_," she mouthed, looking at him significantly and hoping he could understand. His eyebrows knitted together momentarily before comprehension dawned upon his features and he nodded.

"So was it worth it?" he persisted. Now that he'd started, he found the other questions that he'd held back brimming on the tip of his tongue.

For just a moment, Killian thought he saw a frown crease her lips, but she quickly washed it away. Again, she simply nodded. He could see the ache in her features, the melancholy and longing for what she'd left behind. But Killian had also seen how she flourished on his ship, basking in the sun, dancing across the deck, absolutely free.

"The sea could never hold you, could it?" It was a question, but not one Killian needed an answer to. "It would never be enough."

He paused.

"But am I, I wonder? This ship, this life?"

Again, it wasn't a question Killian intended a response to. Somehow, he knew he would discover the answer in time. Perhaps Ariel herself wasn't even ready to give it. She looked back at him with shock, having taken her off guard again. Yet, slowly, that shock shifted into the tiniest hint of a smile as the corners of her mouth gently tugged upward. Her lips moved almost indiscernibly, and he thought he could read his name on the tip of them. But he would never know, just like everything else about her.

Involuntarily, a shiver racked her body as a particularly strong sea breeze whipped around them. She tried to disguise it, but Killian would've been blind not to see. He hesitated a second before he stretched out his good hand and gently placed it upon her arm, feeling the gooseflesh beneath his fingertips as he tried to warm her. "Best get you below deck, shouldn t we?" He smirked devilishly. It was somehow an expression Ariel had grown to trust; she knew it well. She moved from the ship's railing to the stairs that led below and began to descend, legs still a bit shaky as she adjusted to their use. She placed her foot upon the third step when she looked behind her and saw Killian wasn't following. Her eyebrows furrowed and she opened her mouth out of habit to form the question that wouldn't come.

"Oh, don't tell me you've started worrying about me." He smirked again, and Ariel understood that previous vulnerability they'd shared was gone; he was the captain and she was his unexpected passenger. Reluctantly, she nodded and let him go.


	2. Chapter 2

**notes: **thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter and favorited it! i never expected to get such lovely feedback... or to fall for this ship so hard. i really had no intention of continuing, because i have to admit i'm pretty bad at keeping up with updating my fics and i hate to leave others hanging. but these two wouldn't leave me alone, so i have another chapter and some plans swimming in my head for more. no guarantees buuut if these two don't leave me alone then i'm sure i'll have more for you! i would also like to rec a brilliant song, _white waters _by epica, which has been my inspirational music of choice while i'm writing and i suggest giving it a listen while you read! hope you guys enjoy it, and your reviews are always appreciated so any few words you want to leave are always kind!

i'd also like to extend a special thank you to Margo Alaska for being kind enough to beta this chapter for me! :3

* * *

Ariel slipped her feet out of bed, placing them upon the cool, wooden floor soundlessly. She often found it hard to sleep. Down below, she could feel the current of the ocean and how it worked against the ship. Ariel hated how caged it made her feel, where she couldn't see the moon or the stars or the sea. She'd tried to keep herself from indulging in midnight walks on the deck, but she couldn't help herself. Ariel's curiosity and recklessness were often her biggest weaknesses. She shivered in the damp, cool air, wearing only her shift. Ariel quickly threw on the few garments she'd come to own and tugged her heavy coat around her as she ascended the stairs to the deck.

She took up her usual perch by the deck's railing, gazing out on the glistening water. It was dark tonight, the moon almost new again, and the only light was offered by the stars. Ariel wasn't surprised when Killian found her there. It's not something she ever had to expect; it just happened, always. Part of Ariel had come to realize that she was getting too comfortable with the pirate. She'd tried to force herself to give up her midnight exploits, to stop begging him questions of his life, and to not let herself grow so invested. But Ariel had lost that battle before it even began, when she'd first seen his ship sail through their cove and she'd sat upon a rock singing to him.

Her eyes flitted over the hilt sheathed at his waist, and Ariel couldn't help her curiosity before she reached out for it. Killian looked down at her with surprise, but he didn't recoil from her. Killian had slowly grown used to Ariel's curious actions and how she never waited for permission. He let her draw his sword from its scabbard, noting the expression of puzzlement and wonder as she examined the blade. She had some semblance of an idea how to hold it, but she clearly wasn't practiced much at all with a sword.

Ariel had seen Killian and his crew wielding them, and she'd watched many sailors in her time from a safe distance, singing her song. However, she'd never handled the weapon before. It seemed so light and delicate in her hands, hardly an instrument that could dispense death - not that she knew how to use it.

"So they teach mermaids how to use swords now?" Killian quipped, a smirk playing at his lips.

Her head snapped up at the sudden address, and she tilted it to give Killian a severely unamused glare. The pout on her lips only made him laugh. He found himself wondering again what she would say if she could speak to him now; a challenge for him if he ever saw one. He strode several steps away, throwing open a chest on deck and pulling a blade from it. They were dull and often unused, except to train crew members; they all had proper blades that they kept with them at all times. It was certainly no match for the fine steel of his own sword, but it would severe his purposes. Killian rounded on Ariel, lifting his blade to meet hers. He caught her by surprise and she let the sword slip from her fingers.

"Well, evidently not very well," he teased with a grin.

She huffed at him frustratedly, narrowing her eyes. "After you," he gestured to her sword, that same smirk still on his face. He wished he could hear what taunts she would throw back at him, but even still, teasing her was too irresistible for him to stop. It made Ariel even more determined to best him, though she knew it was impossible when she'd never wielded a sword in her life. She'd seen how well practiced Killian was, and she had to admit it was amazing to her. That's why she'd felt the urge to take his sword, just to see what it was like. Ariel always found herself in awe at even the smallest actions humans were capable of. Nothing like this ever would've existed back home. She'd found herself drawn to humans for so long, fascinated by their lives and their intricacies - so different from the world she knew. Now that she was part of it, that wonder never seemed to cease for Ariel and all she wanted to do was learn more.

Ariel scrambled to snatch the sword from the deck, taking a more firm grasp on it this time than she had before. Killian lifted his sword again to meet hers, trying to take her off guard, but Ariel met him forcefully with a clash of steel. She raised her eyebrows, throwing him a smirk of her own. It was the only way she could taunt him in return. She met him blow for blow only a few more times before the sword clattered to the deck again, torn from her grasp. Ariel fixed him with a glare and didn't move to pick it back up.

"Come on, darling, don't be like that." He gave her a disbelieving look but his lips were curving into his charming smile. It was often hard _not_ to fall for Killian's charm, however resolute Ariel may be in resisting.

She stood her ground and didn't budge an inch, her expression unwavering. Killian rolled his eyes, more amused than annoyed. He moved toward her, extending the hilt of his own sword to her in a proverbial peace offering. Ariel eyed him speculatively for a moment, as though she was unsure if she should trust him. After several moments, she finally lifted a hand to grasp the sword he offered. Instead of stepping back from her now, Killian moved to her side, placing his hand over his so that he could gently reposition her fingers.

"Like this," he said gently. "It makes it harder for your opponent to disarm you." That wonder was back in her eyes again and Ariel nodded, taking in his words and gripping the sword accordingly. He didn't move his hand from atop hers, letting his whole arm guide hers through the motions. Initially, Killian meant to show her how to poise a sword for a duel. Yet, he didn't break away, easing into showing her the best ways to swing and what points of weakness to aim for. He subtly allowed himself to move closer and his hooked hand snaked around her waist. Killian held her steadily, which made it easier for him to guide her body through the movements.

"Perhaps I can make a pirate of you yet," he noted, his lips next to her ear.

Ariel hadn't realized he'd gotten so close, when she was so intent on learning everything he tried to show her. Even this was different about truly being human. It wasn't just the legs that felt different, but it was everything. The sea was beautiful, and at times Ariel's heart longed for it painfully, but it dulled the senses. The sea never came close to the way she had felt aboard this ship.

Just when Killian stepped back from her, Ariel gripped the sword firmly in the way he'd taught her and rounded on him. She held the blade to his throat before he could make another move away from her. This time she was the one to step close, barely an inch between them, and she locked eyes with him. Ariel gave him a satisfied smirk, looking quite pleased with herself. Killian didn't seem very amused but Ariel thought she noted, underneath it all, he seemed just a little impressed. It took him a moment before he reached out a hand to her waist to pull her in, and Ariel almost gasped in surprise, making sure to keep the blade from pressing too sharply against his skin.

"Looks like you've caught yourself a pirate. What are you gonna do with me now, sweetheart?"

Ariel felt her skin warm, but she didn't break their stare. She gently bit down on her bottom lip, as though in contemplation, before moving the sword to free him. Her expression slowly shifted to a grin and she opened her mouth like she meant to laugh.

"You know, you make a far better pirate than you do a mermaid," Killian noted with a wry smile.

His words made her smile, but somewhere inside, it almost made her ache. When Ariel had told him abandoning her home to gain legs was worth it, she had meant it. She had never known anything like this and it was more glorious than she ever could've imagined. She'd spent too many days in the sea, seen everything there was. She wanted the _world_. She wanted what only he could offer. Yet, Ariel couldn't stop herself from missing it. Nothing she did ever would. She was a creature of the sea, and she would always long for it and for those she'd left behind.

Killian seemed to sense the abrupt shift in her mood, despite the smile for his sake. He loosened his hold and stepped back, letting her go. Her expression faltered slightly, and she felt the chill of a sudden breeze run through her without the heat of his body. Ariel shivered and turned away, not wanting to let on what she was feeling - though he seemed to have already guessed. When she felt confident enough to face him again, she'd returned her sword to the chest and watched him sheath his again.

As it so often did, something finite seemed to put an end to these exchanges of theirs.

It seemed for a just a while, they were able to suspend everything else. It was simple for her to just indulge her curiosity, and Killian let her.

She started when he began to move for the stairs, stopping just shy of passing her. Ariel watched him intently as he simply looked at her, steadily holding her gaze. Killian was incredibly hard for her to read, made even more difficult by the fact that she couldn't speak to him. They held the silence for several beats before he glanced away.

"I meant it, love. My crew's always got an opening."

He didn't look back at her as he reached the steps and descended to his quarters below. Ariel hugged her coat around her, crossing her arms over her chest. She was always the one to leave him alone up here when she retreated to sleep. She wondered if this was often how she made him feel when she walked away, and Ariel felt curiously desolate all alone on the deck. Slowly, she began to walk toward the railing, resting her elbows upon it and gazing out at the sea. Ariel didn't know how long she stood there, unmoving, trying to make sense out of the fathomless depths before her. They offered her what small comfort they could. She paused at his door when she finally returned below, and gently brushed her fingertips along the wood, before shaking her head and walking past as though she hadn't stopped at all.


End file.
